i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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