my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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