I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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