My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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