i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have tasted many bathrooms
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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