i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
