I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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