That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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