So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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