There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
