I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You're like the curious george of whores
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
