no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
