the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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