you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
