Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
