I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
