these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
