just come out here and I will go home with you...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
