So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
