this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
