walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
