so that wasnt chicken after all
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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