you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
