Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
