you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
