Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
