I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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