Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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