found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my poor anus
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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