Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize