return my video game
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
