you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
