it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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