nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
