# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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