Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
