WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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