i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
