Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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