I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
