THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
