I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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