i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Will exercising make me less horny?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
