I cannot find my penis.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
