Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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