Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
