Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
