i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
