I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
