ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
