Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
